So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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