doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
