I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
