I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
