No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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