why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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