Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Randomize
