Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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