Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
