we have pet lesbian snakes
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
