she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
