ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
