physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
