It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
PANTIES FOUND
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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