just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
