I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
