yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
