Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just threw up on my dentist
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize