i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
