Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
