Please, let me fuck your mom
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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