hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
