You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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