PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
