Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm passing your future prison.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
