Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
