she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
