dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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