Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize