i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
