so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
