just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
