i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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