"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize