went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
