Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
