But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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