that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
