Do you still have your period?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
