I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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