He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
