There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
