Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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