is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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