Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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