Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
