He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
