Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
