How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
