Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish you could order shots online.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
