Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
