Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
