We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
