its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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