the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
