come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
