Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
