Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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