What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
