i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
