i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
