We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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