His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
