Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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